My name is Becca Lineweaver and I am a Discipleship Leader on ACU’s campus. As a DL, my first responsibility to the girls who attend my weekly small group is to build relationships.
Now, from my experience, this is really hard to do, especially for Christians. Maybe I’m just a weirdo, but I would venture to guess that I’m not and there are at least a few if not many at ACU who have shared my experience.
Do you ever walk onto campus or into chapel and feel super strongly that you don’t have your life together in the slightest? Like you better get your ducks in a row and the mess on the floor of your life cleaned up pronto… I do. This is my third year at ACU and still I feel like I have this expectation hanging over my head.
I know I judge myself too harshly and I look around at others as the standard instead of Christ, but I also believe that this stigma on campus goes uncovered and therefore is allowed to continue.
The reason I preface talking about small group relationships with all this is because I think we as young Christians fool ourselves into thinking that if we are not at a certain place in our spiritual life, we have failed. I have felt that way because there are big questions I still have and areas of my life where still I really struggle. But what gets me the most is that I don’t hear any one else on campus saying they feel this way, so I conclude that they must not and that I’m the only one stuck in this place. I seclude myself from others and suffer in silence, which let me tell you, isn’t fun.
Recently however, I have been very encouraged by two truths. The first is that Jesus Christ came to save me, this messy, stubborn, silly child and fully expected to find me this way. That even now, under His grace, He still knows I’m a goofball and a failure on my own, so His Spirit is helping figure out how to get closer to Him, cause that’s what He really wants from me, above service and good works, for me to know Him and worship Him. There is such freedom in not being able to get my life together! Freedom in Christ… It’s crazy.
The second truth is that I am not alone in this. You are like me and we are messy people.
So I want to encourage you now, step out with me, be messy with me, not because we have to live here, but because we don’t have to get ourselves out. I think that if we start here together we can come to know our Lord better, and get to know each other SO much deeper, and that sounds pretty great to me.